Life Isn't Fair
by Mrs Bella Riddle
Summary: In his seventh year everything has changed for Draco Malfoy. Everything has gone wrong and Draco is left alone with his thoughts. He could try to get Pansy back, but, he was not sure if it was worth the pain.


This is written for the One Hour Challenge with Draco Pansy and the prompt 'someday you will know'. It is also written for the Pairing Diversity Boot Camp with the prompt 'fire' and the Favourite House Boot Camp with the prompt 'love can wait'.

)o(

It was still September, the cold air had not even started to settle, the sun was still emitting a sufficient amount of heat and his robes were all he needed to keep himself warm, yet he watched the fire in the great crackle and burn. It slid around the logs engulfing them all with its power slowly sucking away their lives so nothing would remain but ash. The logs were large, bulky and strong, but the fire was too powerful and, at some point, it would win.

The irony was not lost on Draco as he continued to focus his steely grey eyes on the destruction. It was strangely reassuring. It was like when he was still innocent and had nothing to worry about other than ensuring that everyone knew who was in charge. There were those who attempted to fight his authority, but, in the end, all had submitted.

Life was no longer as easy. He no longer felt like the all powerful fire. He felt like he was the log that would have to submit and slowly wither away.

It was not fair, but when was life ever fair. If life was fair, his father would have never gone to prison. If life was fair, he would never have heard his mother crying in her sleep every night when his father was gone. If life was fair, he never would have seen Death Eaters invade and steadily destroy his ancestral home. If life was fair, he never would have had to kill Dumbledore and he never would have failed.

His life never would have changed.

Fearing the self pity would swallow him up and corrupt and reveal his emotions for all to see, he gazed up through the corner of his eye at a group of girls in the corner. Huddled together and giggling like girls always somehow managed to do, his gaze was still caught by them. He still noticed how their hair fell down their backs in waves and how one leaned forward leaving her tight arse tilted in his direction.

He did not stop looking, but he focused up from their bodies to their faces. There was Daphne her face a little too round for his taste and her blue eyes shining in merriment as she nudged the girl next to her in the ribs. Tracey was an attractive brunette with a large nose, but he could never focus on her knowing she was only a half blood.

Then there was Pansy. The girl who, not so long ago, had been _his _Pansy. He remembered pulling her along after the Yule Ball. Tugging her into an abandoned corridor and pressing his lips against hers. He remembered the thrill that had gone through his body and how soft her lips were. He remembered how soft, tight and wonderful the rest of her body has been when he had finally thrust into her nearly eighteen months later.

Those times were long since over. That had been made clear. He still thought she was attractive in her own special way and he still wanted her, but last year had made it obvious it would never work out. It would have been easier to spend the year fucking her in every abandoned classroom in the castle, though it was not meant to be that way. He could not allow a year of pleasure to be his last on earth.

He had wanted to live and slowly he had focused on his task. He had started to ignore her and, of course, she had resented him every since.

Wanting nothing more than to slam his shoe into the grate and kick the log, but, not wanting to ruin his shoes, instead he tightened his grip on the leather armchair.

It was not that time. Love and everything else could wait. It had to wait. He just hoped that he would somehow get the chance to restart some sort of a romantic life. He hoped that he would live long enough to even have that life.

Focusing on Pansy's slightly upturned nose and down into the cleavage of her robes, he paused. Maybe she would understand. Maybe if he explained it to her she would know why he had done what he had and that he did want her. Maybe all he had to do was speak.

Even though the rational part of his brain coached him against the ludicrous idea, he stood from the chair slowly moving towards the girls. Pansy's attractive figure was his focus and he kept his breathing steady. Despite it all, he was still Draco Malfoy and he was still in control. She may be Pansy Parkinson, but she would have to still want him and he would have to have the power. After all, he had lost power in every other way.

He was so very sure of that. He was determined it would all be solved and he would not have to worry, but then Daphne caught his eye. Her blue eyes traced over his frame so close to their table. She smiled that sly smile of hers and he watched her whisper something into Pansy's ear. He saw Pansy's frame freeze and her head turn.

Her eyebrows were knitted down. Her lips were thin. Her nose was flared. Her eyes were dark.

He took one look and gave one curt nod before changing course.

It was pointless. She could wait. His heart still beat fondly for Pansy, but he would not beg forgiveness. He doubted she would understand. No, he would not. Love and seeking forgiveness would wait.

Someday after this was all over he might open up to her. Someday after all of this she would know. H e might would something and everything might fall together until then he would stay alone. He would stick with his family and not need anyone else but them. It would be fine. It would have to be fine. He would stay strong and powerful and stand against the fire even if he had to do anything the fire wished.

Straightening his back with his head held high he moved straight for the dormitory. He was Draco Malfoy and, even without love, he would remain.


End file.
